Monday, January 28, 2013

Cold Wind, Warm Heart

Again due to issues on my part, this is a continuation of a thought from last year, 2012. 

There was more to my shower idea than just writing every day.  I had this crazy thought that since this is the time of Thanks-giving that maybe it would be a good thing for me to think about that very thing.  What was I thankful for in this past year of 2012?  Well, it was an unusual year.  

It started in January 2012 with a trip to Arkansas for a job interview which ended with me not getting the job.  I came to the realization that I had been gendered and aged out of that job from the minute I stepped off the plane.  This knowledge became huge and life-changing. 

 

A lovely recovery trip to Florida where walking the beach and shell collecting became the therapy to beat back the blues came later in January.  I can also recommend Paint-by-Number art therapy.

 It was a year of both the perceived ugly and the lovely bumping into each other back and forth, a tightrope walk of emotions.  But as the year progressed I mitigated the ugly with positive educational opportunities (Jennifer McLean's, Healing with the Masters) and readings designed to keep me from slipping into the dumpster.  This has helped. 

I have struggled with inspiration, often not writing at all.  It was the walks and my camera which were my eyes into the world of creativity linking me to the magic that is our world.  Other things happened, a trip to Colorado (awesome), gifts of love and kindness from friends, more hours at work and opportunities to do hard work, cleansing my soul with the dirt and birdsong. 

A realization gradually breaking upon me that all things really DO work for good ..that the path I've walked has made me who I am today.  Without the slurry of experiences whether perceived "good" or "bad" by me (at the time they occurred) I would not have walked the path I did.  Would not have felt the things I felt, not learned the lessons I've learned...just not been ME.  I would have been another ME...maybe one I didn't like...I definitely wouldn't have been here at this particular time, in this spot, writing.  I'd miss that.



So, for this new year of 2013, my wish, resolution, desire, whatever you want to call it will be to enjoy the journey more.  I'll try to be easier on myself and not judge situations as "good" or "bad" but will just try to let them BE.  To say more to myself, OH LOOK AT THAT....whatever is happening...isn't that interesting?  I'll shake my emotions up with dancing in joy, throw in some shower singing and let them bubble out in laughter.  Guess I'll also continue keepin' on keepin' on and in the light of each new sun find myself enjoying each moment.  



2 comments:

  1. Oh....I just love this post Vera! Beautiful and uplifting words and photos I wouldn't want you to be anyone other than the person that has evolved into the YOU of today! Completley lovable! So glad I was able to walk a few steps along that beach with you in 2012! Hope we can share a few moments together on our 2013 journey! Keep on walking, snapping photos, writing and blogging! When ya leavin'??

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't know...but thank you for your words, Cath. So glad that we were able to reconnect. Journeying with you has opened my eyes to new, wonderful things.

    ReplyDelete