With a Bow to the Grateful Dead - It Really Has Been a Long, Strange Trip

It all started with a thought: "I want to spend some time in Florida in January".  It seemed innocent enough. Who wouldn't want to leave the frigid north land of Indiana/Ohio THIS January?  I sure did.

I'd made the decision, after being laid off from ANOTHER job, to just not work for anyone anymore. Realizing that, after all, I was the only one who really cared whether or not I ate...I decided to finally start my own small business.  Yup, just like that.  I'd had enough of sending out resume after resume. I was fed up with the waiting and the silence.  I'd had enough of shutting down businesses and working at jobs that were uninspiring and low paying.  I can hear you guys...I know you KNOW how I feel.  Having spent some years doing work that WAS inspiring, it was hard to accept that the world expected me to settle and sweep floors at a big box store where I do not even want to shop.

So, I gathered some ideas and headed south for a visit, little knowing that I was not going to be back home for two months.. During that time, I'd have some great experiences and meet a bunch of new people. I would visit with long-time friends and share a hot springs tub with new.  I'd see some beautiful sunsets , take some great pictures and cry a bit.  But then how can we know where we will end up when we first start down the trail.  The journey is just that, a journey with surprises around each bend.

Florida was cold yet sunny, windy and sometimes rainy.  I found the contrasts and levels of gray upon gray reflected in the sky, the beach, the birds to be mesmerizing.  There were a lot of birds...Cormorants, Red Headed Mergansers, Plovers, Sandpipers, Gulls, a life bird which I got no pictures of and now can't remember....but at that same place I saw a Common Loon which was cool.  The above bird is a Black-bellied Plover and it too, is a life bird!

During this time, I had an amazing experience with 2 dolphins  Both are regular visitors to the seawall by my friend's house and visit her often.  One late afternoon, I saw the fins breach about 20 feet off the wall...they were fishing.  They have developed a behavior where they will cruise out from the wall driving the fish ahead of them and then surge in to the seawall...or at least that is what I've told myself they do.

I believe they are probably some of the most sentient beings on the planet.  So, when I went out I just wanted to get a few photos of them out in the channel.  As I stood on the seawall, the larger of the two, approached and did a swim by.  "He" circled and came back for another pass, moved out into the channel, came back for another pass followed by the second dolphin, smaller and what I call the "female" but who knows.  After several more passes, he swam by the wall one more time turned, dove then came up blowing out his good-bye with his expulsion of air.  What a wonderful experience and as they swam away I raised my hand in good-bye as they swam towards the bigger water of Tampa Bay.

So, that was just the beginning of the trip which took me to Atlanta to weather the second, Icemageddon, to Northeast Georgia for the first couple of weeks of Thru-hiker season, to Amicolola Falls State Park for the AT Kick-off and then finally, ended with a trip over the mountains in a freakish snow storm, to Hot Springs where I spent several days visiting with good friends and enjoyed the hot springs for the first time.

And now, I am back in Northeast Ohio awaiting spring and the birth of grandchild number five. awaiting the entrance of a new life into this crazy, roller coaster ride we call life.  Bring it on...I can't wait!

It's All About the Little Things

Several weeks ago, I was traveling from Ohio back to Indiana.  It was a stunningly beautiful January day when I left Kent, Ohio.  It was one of those "sky is clear blue with tiny strands of white clouds hanging like lace curtains" days.  Exquisite travel day.  It was one of those days when if I had been hiking, I would have noticed details like bugs on leaves, tiny pine cones in the grass, how the sun forms rainbows on leaf dew.  I am sure you've had days like that. 

But I was driving.  Home.  I instead I turned my thoughts inward to family, friends, love and beauty and the timelessness of enjoying NOW.  The winter sun, absent or clouded in winter in NE Ohio shone brightly and warmed the interior of the car, it felt just like summer and oh how good this felt at this moment to have that warmth on my fingers clutching the wheel and on my face.  Soaking up the much need Vitamin D.  Welcoming that light in that moment, opened my heart.

As I was driving, I noticed small birds flying and ugly trash blowing across the road...the contrast of beauty and ugliness, reminders that living in the moment means accepting what we judge as good or bad and dealing with it without judgement because it is just THERE in that moment and like trash blowing across the road or birds flying across one's line of sight it will be gone in the next moment.  For me this brings freedom; freedom to not be burdened by little birds that fly into your life or trash that blows through.

At the end of the day, I was greeted by the most beautiful sunset I've seen in a long time. It capped off a day where I was thankful for the tiniest thing.  The colors of that sunset blended into the most spectacular colors, pinks, purples, dusty blues and yellows.  It filled my warm heart with such gratefulness.  I felt as if Mother Nature had painted that for me so that I'd remember for a long time that if you let things build up inside, if you spend your moments dwelling on the what ifs and what wills of life you miss the what is right there in front of yous. 

 And it is in these moments, the right now moments where inspiration and gratitude reside.  I love looking at the big picture but also that day was reminded of all the little pieces that build up to make that big picture.  If you walk too fast with your eyes all the way into the future, you miss the building blocks upon which that big picture rests.  

Polar Vortex?!

Beautiful winter sunset in NE Ohio

While we were sitting inside worrying about the Polar Vortex and how that would impact our lives as we know it....I was wondering if I should venture outside to take pictures.  Would my camera freeze, would the lens fog up, would my fingers drop off like icicles falling from a roof?   I love the stark beauty encountered during freezes and snowy weather.  I've had wonderful opportunities to take pictures in the snow over the last six plus years living in Northeast Ohio.  It is part of its charm, the snowy winters. 

Ohio didn't get much snow but it was really cold

Truly it was too cold to venture into the outdoors.  Even my hardcore hiking friends were hunkered down in hotel rooms.   I bet the TV ratings for viewership skyrocketed.   My heart went out to friends and family far away who were suddenly without heat.  Others it turned out had feet of snow where my car normally is parked.  So, its all good and we've gotten through it.  On with normal activities.

Finding beauty in winter bushes

What I most love about winter photography is that one's focus shifts.  Yes, of course, there are fantastic vistas to be seen, sun shadowed mountains glittering with snow, the fog of frost floating around their sunlit crowns.  But I tend to look down.  I look to the minutia, the small things.  Tracks in the snow, buds hanging alone off dormant branches, color highlighted against the monotony of black and white.  I look for shadows, for clouds in the sky, some cool stuff has been found in melting pockets of snow within tree's roots.  Its all about finding life in frozen places.  

Looking into the 'heart' of winter

This has caused me to think about how life reflects nature.  How I often find the most inspiration amongst the frozen places of my heart.  When looking down into the depths in the melting places, that is where the color and creativity comes from.  For when the light of inspiration and acceptance shines on those places of pain and regret illuminating one's true self that is when the heart and soul warms.  I've found that when the integration of dark and light occurs within me and I am able to love and accept it ALL...well amazing results occur.

Indiana plains waiting for the spring

Consider this, that it is both the dark and the light, the shadow and the bright, the ying and yang of me that makes me who I am.  The path I've walked brought me through those experiences for a reason.  How can I reject then, who I've become?  Just like spring without winter, life without death, sun without clouds...I accept all that has gone forth in my life. 

Winter grasses where small animals slumber in silence 

Many of us who are outside people or gardeners know that this quiet time of nature's slumber is a time when we must remain vigilant.  We clean the gear, we clean the garden tools, we begin to plan for what is to come.   So, too, in the winter, I make the preparations inside to move into the new.  Another new year and so in reminding myself of these things I prepare for greater journeys. 

Trail in Snow, Tallmadge Meadows Metropark

Ending Thoughts 2013

My favorite time of the day is dusk.  The time when the sun goes down casting a rosy, orange glow across the horizon and the light from below is so bright it hurls itself into the blue and the colors merge into a vibrant rainbow of color.  The rose feathers into the blue and the edges blur.  The sky and world around look fuzzy like your favorite blanket.  The trees are solid shadows, black and sharp edged sticking into the sky.  Tree tops like a butch hair cut contrast black against the fading blue purple sky.  And as the light dims, sun sinking further around the corner of the world, the trees merge into the sky.  

The first star, probably not a star but a planet, shines alone in the sky until joined by other light beings.  Crowding the sky with sparkling radiance, the white light seems sharper the colder the night.  On very cold nights their brittle brilliance is a knife point of light cutting through the darkness. 

Yet on this cold early winter night, I think of endings, for it is the eve of the New Year.  It is the night when everyone all over the world waits for the new beginning, waits to rid themselves whether willingly or reluctantly of all that has traveled into the past.   It is the night when everyone gets to start over, gets a second chance, gets to do it all again and make it better.  Where possibilities for change hang like ripe fruit to be picked from the tree of tomorrow.

Yet, always questioning, I ask myself, is this really a wise practice?  Should I, actually, wait until the end to rid myself of that which lies in the distant past?  Should I carry each misstep, each disappointment, each reward, each hill climbed, and each success with me through a whole year?  Or should I let them go …let them float away on the tide of history?  These thoughts are ever present as I learn to live in the moment.  Something that has become important to me as I’ve aged.  

With all the things that have happened in my history, I’ve learned to value today for tomorrow is not a given.  One never knows how many days one has...so today is vitally important.  Today is all I have.  In fact, this moment as I type these letters is all I have and that which I’ve typed before…well those moments are in the past and thus are not NOW.  Yet, so much of what I learn, so much of how I grow as a human, comes from what I’ve learned in the past.  It truly is a conundrum with which I wrestle every day. 

I love living in the moment.  It feels right and true.  To not dwell on past hurts, pain, anguish, mistakes is freeing and means that I have to let go of the judgments not only that I make of others but of myself.   Everything, if allowed, teaches me how to walk my trail more authentically, more genuinely.  Everything, teaches me to be more ME.  This year, I know it sounds silly, but this year, this year of turning 60…well I’ve learned to forgive and accept and to value ME for who I am. It was a hard fought battle but ME won.  Yeah!

Am I perfectly me now?  Of course not.  Those of you who know me know this truly…and I thank you for your indulgence, love, patience and friendship.  My family, I hope both forgives me and loves me for who I am.  I have wisdom to bring….yet so much more to learn.

So, my dear ones, those of you on this trail with me, now….I love you all greatly and with all that at this moment I have to bring to you.  I will in this coming year, hopefully, become more of me so that I can be a more loving and selfless friend to you. For as I believe I deserve acceptance…I am more desirous of bringing you love and acceptance. Many thanks and in this moment...please turn to those whom you love and give them a big hug for indeed…you have this moment.   Cowabunga…into this New Year of 2014 we go!!!

The Faster I Go the Behind-er I Get!

Winter Weather - mid-September at Logan Pass

Time seems to pass much more quickly than I seem to be able to keep up with it.  Only a few days ago wasn't I in Montana?  In reality its been nearly 2 months since I came home  The weather there continues to be brutal …with snow and cold temps making the mountains more stunningly beautiful than seems possible. 

New Home on the Indiana Plains

October was a lovely month off and provided me with the opportunity to travel back and forth from Indiana and Ohio, transitioning from my past life in Ohio, to the new back in my home state of Indiana.  I had an opportunity to go to the Gathering in PA, do some hiking in OH and take a trip to Atlanta with a stop for 2 days in Great Smokey Mountain NP to hike.  Luckily, we stayed with some good friends, making this trip an outstanding time.

View of Gatlinburg

I was lucky enough to travel to GA with a 2013 AT Thru hiker so stopping to hike was a given.  After, spending a few days visiting with another hiking friend in Athens, we headed to Gatlinburg, TN to stay with good friends.

Juney Whank Falls

Trying to decide where to hike in GSMNP was challenging., there are just too many great choices. We, finally, decided to stop at Deep Creek and bag 3 waterfalls located very close together.  The weather started off marginally gloomy but turned sunny.  The late fall sun fell on us making the running creek sparkly with watery diamonds.  The leaves were scarlet, ochre, green, brown, gold…a panoply of colors, shades & hues highlighted by the sun made for awe inspiring scenery.

View from Overlook on Newfound Gap Road

On the way to our overnight accommodations, we stopped at several overlooks,bypassing the over crowded  Newfound Gap.   By this time, we were very tired.  Clouds piled up in the valleys, filling them with fog and muting the autumn colors.  The clouds hung with the possibility of snow and the west wind spoke to me of winter as it hit me in the face.  Looking out over the ridges to the southwest there was no sunset to be seen but the eerie light made for a spectacular view.

Baskin Creek Falls Trail

The following day we decided to hike a little traveled trail to another falls.  This trail rolled over 4 sun-filled miles. Traveling through the woods, I saw only 2 people on trail as I walked to the falls and back. The delightful golden orb shone above warming the leaves underneath my feet.  The subtle smell of fall leaves crunching underfoot drifted up reminding me of days long past.  It was hard to refuse the urge to gather large piles of them and bury myself in their earthiness.  This was such a special time of contemplation and peace, I’ve not had for many years.

Baskin Creek Falls

The falls were splendid and I paused there with 4 others to have a snack, feeling the good feeling that conquering a challenging climb down can bring.  I rock-hopped across the creek to sit on a large granite boulder engaging 2 guys in the only on trail conversation of the day.

Bear Scat - Source of Possible Noises

Despite being alone in the woods, I was far from alone.  Down the in the valley, bushes rustled and the noises followed me up the trail.  I smelled various smells as I walked, I wondered if I’d finally see a bear on trail having not seen a bear all summer while in Montana.. But I did not, I only saw a squirrel and exchanged a few whistled tunes with some Chickadees.

Me -  Enjoying a Beautiful Fall DA

What a wonderful time was given like a gift to me, it seemed from the universe.  This transition time between the moves was a great way to create some space between 2 vastly different worlds.   Montana  was like summer camp, a time of dreams come true.   Indiana is, however, like a time for being responsible.  It is home and I am happy to be with family.  The universe has so graciously provided me with all that I’ve asked for.  A place to live between both my girls, a job which pays enough for me to pay bills & be generous (tis wondrous).  It has been a bounteous time for which I am grateful.  So many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Indian Creek Falls

Early Winter or Going Home 1

Snowy Skies over Glacier National Park - September 26, 2013

*due to driving home & work schedule prior to leaving this is an untimely post, sorry.
As summer fades away one would hope to have an interim period of time where fall is in evidence.  Glacier Park never fails to amaze.  Tomorrow, Wednesday, September 25, 2013, it is supposed to snow at 5000 ft and above...not just a little dusting..they are predicting 6 to 10 inches.  That means that most of the Going to the Sun Road north of Avalanche Creek will be snowed upon.  Awesome!

Just Beginning of Fall Colors at Lake MacDonald - September 26, 2013

But wait a minute, are we really ready for snow?  I know I am not.  I have to get home and if it is snowing now in Glacier what does that say about North Dakota, the snow state of the US.  When I think of North Dakota, I think of snow gates, 90 mph winds and people getting stranded on highways and their cars covered in snow. This is not what I want to deal with on a 2.5 day drive to Indiana.  * 3 days after I arrived home a huge blizzard leaving 48 inches of snow hit South Dakota!

Marias Pass in the Snow on September 30, 2013

However, as I prepare to leave Glacier the snow does indeed start falling.  First snow, happened on my birthday, September 18, 2013.  Following this, it just kept snowing. When I finally did pull out of Essex, MT on my way home the skies were gray, cloudy and my favorite fog was drifting up and down through the valleys covering the tops of my favorite peaks.  Snow was falling like powdered sugar being sprinkled on top of the mountains.  It was fantastically beautiful, a word I've found I've used over and over this summer to describe Glacier...fantastic. 

First Rainbow I saw on September 22, 2013

As my car wove around and through the mountains headed east on Route 2, a road I've come to know like the back of my hand, tears fell from my eyes as they viewed my Glacier for possibly the last time, for sure the last time this year.  It was hard coming home, yet the mountains had in the last weeks given me clues to the upcoming happiness that I'd experience by sending me rainbow after rainbow after rainbow.  I'd not seen another rainbow all summer until mid-September.  Possibly, Glacier was smiling at me and sending me off with its blessing and a reminder that there really is no place like home.

Crazy Clouds Over Glacier

The sun went down over the park as I exited Browning, MT.  Looking back at the mountains they were encircled by a giant, white mass of boiling clouds akin to what you see in the scene in the movie, Ghostbusters.  It was a spectacular sight.

Sunset Over Browning, MT September 29, 2013

But in front of me was clear sky.  As I moved farther and farther away from Glacier, the sun set in a clearing sky, highlighting the still remaining bank of clouds with a beautiful golden light.  I spent the night in Havre, MT and awoke to another partly cloudy day.  I drove through a BIG rainstorm near the border of North Dakota. 

Playing Tumbleweed Dodge Ball

During this portion of my trip, I played a new game called, Tumbleweed Dodge Ball. Winds upwards of 50 mph rocked my car and the torrential rains made visibility very poor.  It, also, set ALL the tumbleweeds living on the sides of the road into motion.  As they danced and twirled and rolled down the highway next to me, gusts of wind pushed one, two or three across the road suddenly, causing me to have to swerve around them. Some were SO large that they would have gotten caught in the undercarriage of my car proving quite irksome to future progress, I feared!  This spectacle kept me giggling because it was such a funny sight.  Who knew that tumbleweeds could cavort?

Rainbow Over Theodore Roosevelt National Park

The rain stopped at the North Dakota border and there over the Theodore Roosevelt National Parka arched a HUGE rainbow!  A final good-bye or a welcome hello from the east.  A sign which encouraged me to continue to think positively about the future that awaited me in Indiana.  

Good Bye For Now, Montana -view of Siyah Mountain

So, good-bye for now, Montana.  You have left an indelible mark upon my soul.  I truly felt at home among your mountains and plains.  Stay safe, Glacier and may you remain ever there for us to love and admire.